Disruption
by 7Roja9
Summary: I looked at the small folded paper that was placed on the nightstand near my bed. ' Eren, what are you reading? ' Mikasa asked as she suddenly turned towards me. My eyes slipped through the words, almost captivating me. ' If you wish to know anything more about that key your dad gave you..come and see me. '
1. Chapter 1

Every morning, the same thing happens. I wake up in a pile of sweat and try to catch my breath but instead make it to the bathroom  
>as fast as I can and puke in the sink, mostly heartburn as the sour flavor remains in my mouth for a while as I tremble.<br>I see myself in Titan form, attacking Annie as I lose control off my human self.  
>I'm turning into a demon. A monster. The truth was that I actually was capable of killing Annie if she weren't to have cried in tears.<br>It had made me confused, but not remorseful.  
>I told everyone I felt pity for her at that moment but I didn't. I lied.<p>

I had to lie, what else could I do? tell everyone that my humanity had cracked? and that I lost control and was internally Titan? they would've killed me  
>within a second. After that she turned herself into ice, unreachable by anyone. These horror memories keeps on depriving me from a good night sleep, It felt like I haven't slept in ages.<br>It's been a few months now since I stopped Annie from bringing down Wall Sina, yet more report of Titans still trying to reach in on us doesn't stop from coming.

They would sooner or later ask for my assistance again in my Titan form, but I can't.  
>I have no control on myself anymore. But I can't tell them that, too many had died to protect me as they all saw me as<br>human kinds greatest gift... and that gift would turn into their doom if only they knew what I had realized just a few months ago.

I stared at the mirror as dark shadows marked my under-eyes more gloomy as ever.  
>When will it all stop? people always see me as this careless guy but deep inside there is this small hole filled with<br>anxiety that is growing more and more with each day. Everyone noticed there was something up. Even Mikasa and Armin tried to get it out of me.  
>I can't tell them. I will not tell them. I will have to flee if that's what it takes to get me out of here alive, I still have something important that I<br>must do I thought as I grabbed the key that was hanging around my neck and stared at it. '' Father.. '' I whispered.

'' Eren, we're being called for breakfast. '' I heard Mikasa shout.  
>'' I'm coming. '' I quickly washed my face and mouth with water and dressed myself into clean attire as I opened the door of my room.<br>Mikasa stood outside waiting for me as we silently made our way towards the dining room to join the members of the Recon Corps.  
>Every morning was practically the same. Same food. Same drinks. And unfortunately the same continuing curious and worried glances people kept giving me.<br>I ignored it and stared at the pile of different foods and beverages I could choice from the wide oak colored table, yet the thought of eating something  
>alone was enough to make me feel nauseous again.<p>

I grabbed a small bowl and filled it with some yogurt and sat down on the empty table next to the large window.  
>Mikasa sat across of me and chewed on some apple parts and looked at me for a few moments. A bowl of cereal, some fruit salad with a cup of black tea.<br>Mikasa's usual breakfast, even that was the same I thought as I turned my head towards the window and stared outside. '' Did you puke again? ''  
>I glanced at Mikasa, and then looked back at the window again and sighed.<br>I wasn't in the mood to have this conversation with Mikasa. Again.  
>'' Eren? '' Mikasa spoke, this time with a stern undertone in her voice.<br>'' Could you for once, just once, mind your own darn business Mikasa? '' I said annoyed while glaring at her. I looked over as  
>I suddenly noticed Armin came towards us he waved at me and took a seat next to me.<br>'' Hey guys! '' He said as he took a gulp of coffee and sighed satisfied.  
>'' How are you both? '' Armin spoke cheerfully like almost every morning.<br>'' I'm fine Armin, thanks. '' I lied as I forced a small smile. Armin stared at me doubtfully for a few seconds but quickly smiled back and looked towards Mikasa who still had her eyes furrowed towards me. The atmosphere felt uncomfortable after a few long moments as I forcefully ate a few tablespoons of yogurt while staring outside the window again.

'' Just yogurt? come on Eren. That's not breakfast. ''  
>I turned around and saw none other than Levi together with Hanji standing behind me with his arms crossed as he stared at me.<br>'' Aren't you hungry? '' Hanji asked surprised.  
>'' I.. Well, no. Not reall- '' '' He puked this morning, that's why. '' Mikasa interrupted.<br>'' MIKASA. '' I shouted as I stood up from my seat and stared down at her ferociously.  
>'' Puking?! Eren Why? Are you sick?! '' Hanji asked hysterical as she placed her hand on my shoulder. As much as I respected and liked Hanji, I just kept from looking back at Hanji and remained staring ahead of me. Every member of the Recon Corps had dropped their own conversation and stared down at their plates and continued eating, thinking they could secretly eavesdrop this way without me noticing it. But I knew they were listening, fishing for some information on what has been going on with me lately.<p>

'' Sick?! he is sick?! how can he possibly be sick! he is a titan! '' One of the Recon Corps member suddenly shouted across the room as everyone stared at his direction.  
>'' Ahh- I'm sure Eren will get fit again you guys. '' Hanji spoke nervously as she tried to sooth the serious atmosphere.<br>'' He better be! don't you know how many of our comrades have died already to keep you safe kid? Huh? DO YOU KNOW THAT?! '' The guy screamed in frustration as he threw the iron cup he was holding on the ground. '' Oi.. '' I glanced over to see Levi taking a few steps towards the guy, his facial expression turned into the serious, threatening expression he always carried around as everyone in the room nervously turned their heads towards their plates again, afraid of looking at their Captain again. '' I'm sorry Captain but at this point I honestly couldn't care less! too many have died out there, just...too many... '' The guy's voice turned into a silent sob as he bald his fists and forced himself not to cry in front of everyone. Suddenly I saw him staring at the one table that had remained empty...My eyes widened in shock, my nausea revived again.

Eld, Gunter, Oluo, Petra... all of them were dead. All to protect me.  
>The guy held his hand on his mouth as he took a few steps near the table, but dropped himself on the ground on his knees as he cried out to them, and to his other friends who had all died because of the titans, their lives mercilessly taken away. I tried my best not to tremble but instead my whole body was shaking as sweat drops were slipping from my forehead.<br>I was in my nightmare again, flashbacks of me going berserk through the streets of Sina as I was chasing Annie like an beast.  
>Not a human.. I'm not a human anymore..<br>'' Eren..Eren? '' I stared at Armin who was looking at me worried as my breathing had gone faster without me even noticing it as my heart was bounding loudly.

I made my way towards the door to leave immediately. I ignored the many stares that were piercing through me, refusing to look back at them and especially to the guy who had cried in front of the empty table, I couldn't handle the situation any longer I thought as my mind was exploding, feeling a headache arising.  
>'' Eren. '' I turned around and saw Levi staring at, a stare that was somehow..quite off.<br>It wasn't his usual expression, as if he was trying to make me understand something.  
>But what? what could he possibly understand? no one knew with what kind of horror I was putting up with each day, nobody knew what I knew.<br>Not even Mikasa or Armin. I quickly shook my head and continued my way out as I firmly shut the door.

I felt dizzy but I remained walking in a fast phase, trying to get to my room before anyone would see or notice me. Suddenly I stopped and tried to swallow but my throat was just to dry to even produce enough saliva to do so. I hesitated, but quickly turned a corridor that lead towards the kitchen area. I walked inside and saw a few buckets of what seemed like fresh well water that had been brought in every morning. I grabbed a cup which seemed cleaned and filled it with water and drank the refreshing goodness. I filled yet another cup, and another, and another as my thirst kept on begging me for more water. After the sixth cup my stomach was exploding as I felt heartburn rising up again.  
>I quickly walked towards the sink and puked the heartburn and the excessive water out of me.<p>

'' Thirsty boy? '' I let out a frightening cry and dropped the cup on the ground as it broke into tiny little pieces. I stared at the old woman in front of me, she was responsible for cooking and tidying up the place the Recon Corps was staying at. I always thought there was something odd about her but nevertheless her cooking was quite amazing. She stared at me with a warming smile,  
>I noticed she had carried a wooden basket filled with fish and other foods she probably had bought at the nearby market for tonight's supper. She placed the basket on the nearby table and grabbed a broom that was at placed in the corner of the room. '' No please, I'll clean it up. It is my fault after all. '' I spoke demonstratively as I gently tried to pull the broom away from her.<br>'' Don't worry about it, Granny will clean it up for you. You just make sure you eat properly and get lots of rest around here, you look as pale as ever you know? You need to be fit for battle against those Titans right? We're all counting on you to help us into victory son. '' She said as placed her hand on my own hand that had grabbed the broom as she stared at me with  
>the same friendly smile. '' Ah yes...thank you then. '' I spoke, trying to contain the anxiety I was feeling again.<p>

'' Here, take this with you to your room. It might help you. '' She said as she grabbed a cup and filled it with some liquid that was inside the boiler on the stove.  
>I had to admit it smelled really good as she handed me the warm beverage.<br>'' Lavender tea. It relaxes the human nerves and muscles. '' She said as she grabbed another cup and filled some for herself. '' Thank you very much. '' I said as I smiled at her and smelled the steam that was coming off from it. She simply smiled again as she took a gulp and grabbed the broom. I waved her a goodbye as I walked away and headed towards me own room again.  
>I sat on my bed and took a sip and breathed in deeply. Inhaling, Exhaling.<br>That was quite nice of her to give me this, why did I thought she was odd again I thought as I took another sip and placed the tea cup on the ground.  
>I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes as I tried to catch some sleep again, taking a nap might actually help I thought as I turned<br>into a comfortable position and sunk my head deeper into the soft pillow.

Something was wrong. I felt it.  
>I immediately lifted myself off and held my hand on my heart again as I felt my heartbeat bounding more rapidly than before. I felt this painful sensation going through my body as I started trembling again, gasping for air as my breathing went up.<br>What was going on I thought as the pain kept on intensifying, a cry escaping my lips.  
>I got up and started walking when my legs suddenly hit the lavender tea, the liquid spilling all over the ground. '' <em>It relaxes the human nerves and muscles ''<br>_My eyes widened as I tried to rub away the pain that was shooting through my legs.  
>Human...<p>

I cried out from the pain again and collapsed on the ground. It felt like fire was attacking and spreading through my body, burning down my muscles as my body heat kept on rising.  
>You idiot. I kept on repeating these two words inside my head as tears kept on shedding of my cheeks.<br>I tried to stand up but my legs simply refused to do anything at this point as the ongoing trembling I felt made feel dizzy and once again, nauseous.  
>'' H-H-elp. '' I cried out shivering but It was useless. Everyone was probably still downstairs eating their breakfast, nobody near could hear me.<br>I felt powerless as the one going pain strokes kept tormenting me inside. With nothing that I could possibly do at this point I just started closing my eyes when suddenly someone forcefully burst the door open and that someone was none other then.


	2. Chapter 2

Captain Erwin who came rushing to my side as he pulled me up and laid me down on the bed again.  
>The pain kept on striking me as I yelped in pain.<br>Captain Erwin? Wasn't he eating breakfast with the others too? And how did he end up suddenly hearing me inside my room?  
>I thought as I furrowed my eye brows while staring up at him.<br>He pulled the blankets back over me as he glanced at me for a moment.

'' Eren, relax. Everything is fine with you, listen to my voice. ''  
>He spoke as he placed his hand on my forehead as he motions to me to follow him as he instructed his breathing.<br>I followed him as I inhaled deeply, and exhaled very slowly. The pain was still there but as  
>I continued following Erwin almost hypnotically I felt the pain slowly fading away.<p>

After a few minutes, my breathing and my heartbeat started to stabilize again as  
>I watched Captain Erwin feeling my pulse to see if everything was alright again.<br>He gave me a thumbs up and slowly placed my arm back on my side.  
>He gave me a small smile, which was surprising considering he never smiled that often and sat next to me on the bed.<br>'' Captain.. how- ''  
>'' Right now, that's not important Eren. We've all been keeping a close full eye on you lately, and we have to make sure<br>everything is going fine with you. I will have to inform on what just happened to the others...How did the pain suddenly happened Eren? Do you know? ''

Captain Erwin stared at me as I tried to look at him as calmly as possible as my mind was exploding from chaos, once again.  
>I couldn't possibly tell him that it was due to the tea that my body started reacting like crazy.<br>That would only rise up suspicious that I didn't want anyone to have, they we're already to curious on what was going with me lately anyways.

'' Uhm.. I have no idea sir. It suddenly just happened. '' I lied as I tried to look as sincere  
>as possible without letting my facial expression reveal anything to him.<br>He simply nodded and stood up as he rested his hand on my shoulder for a bit.  
>'' Alright, be sure to get some rest now and we'll keep in touch. '' He spoke strictly as he turned around and walked outside<br>of my room again as he firmly closed the door.

I remained silent until I could heard his footsteps fading away, after that I let out a loud  
>sigh and remained staring at the ceiling as I listened to the chirping of birds outside of my open window<br>as the sunlight softly radiated through my room. I should be more careful from now on, but if things were to be going  
>far more worse than expected then I really should... make a run for it, I thought as my eyes grew larger by just the idea of it.<p>

I was making my way downstairs again as I wanted to take a stroll outside before night time would fall.  
>As I passed near the stables, and petted one of the horses gently over their manes, I saw the older woman who<br>gave me the lavender tea from before walking towards the secluded part of the mansion we were staying in.  
>I slowly raised my eye brow, finding it odd to see her still walking outside at this hour, I decided to slowly follow her.<p>

She stood near the entrance of the building part, quickly looked from left to right before she knocked on the door.  
>A moment later and the door was opened by none other than Hanji as she also looked around suspiciously before letting the older woman in.<br>What could they possibly be doing there I thought as I made a few steps towards the building when  
>suddenly a hand came down on my shoulder as I let out a surprised and anxious cry.<p>

'' Eren, what are you still doing outside? '' Levi spoke as he held a surprised but amusing expression on his face.  
>'' Captain..uhm.. I wanted to take a quick walk before night time would fall, I thought maybe some fresh air would do me some good. ''<br>I tried to speak calmly, whilst trying to look as calm as possible at the same time.

'' Ah yeah, I heard from Erwin... well alright, understandable of course. But don't stay outside for too long okay? ''  
>Levi spoke as he glanced at the building for a second. He then glanced over at me again as the same weird expression<br>from this morning was revealed on his face. I quickly glanced over at the building and then stared at Levi again  
>as I slowly furrowed my eye brows a bit, panic striking me.<br>Did he saw me walking behind the old woman? My eyes grew larger within a few seconds as I tried to remain calm inside.  
>'' Anyways, I won't keep you from your night stroll, but you know Eren. ''<p>

Levi stepped a bit towards me and this time, his voice was a bit  
>more softer, almost like a whisper: '' If you wish to know...things. Or if you are just curious, just anything...come and see me. ''<br>Levi spoke as he stepped away as he remained looking at me with the same weird expression before turning  
>around as he also made his way towards the secluded building. He stood near the entrance as he held<br>his fist on the door, ready to knock on it when he slowly turned his heard around and stared at me for a second.

I immediately snapped out of my trance and turned around as I walked away with big steps.  
>What was that all about I thought confused, but I paid no heed on it as I continued with my night time stroll.<br>I continued to walk around until I suddenly without realizing it reached near the secluded building  
>which still made me very curious and suspicious about it.<p>

I knew what I thought off doing was pretty reckless but I started to secretly run through the vines  
>and bushes the secluded building was covered with as I came near a small window that was attached to the ground of the building.<br>It seemed the building had a basement and this little window provided the basement some air for ventilation purposes.

The window was a bit open as I pulled my Recon Corps hood on and looked inside.  
>Around the large table sat Captain Erwin, together with Levi, Hanji and even the old woman which still was confusing me.<br>'' So, you really did gave him the proper tea? ''  
>Captain Erwin asked the old woman as she nodded. '' Yes, it was lavender tea. ''<br>My eyes widened with shock as my breath stopped for a moment. This was about me.

'' So, is it safe to say that Eren might be suspected to be internally more titan then we assumed? ''  
>Hanji asked as she leaned her chin on her hand palm and gazed in front of her.<br>'' Yes, clearly the strange behavior from him lately and even the tea which Miss. Gunter gave to Eren does set off some speculations_. _''  
>Captain Erwin spoke as he was silent for a moment and had an serious expression on his face. '' So.. what do we do with the boy? ''<br>The old woman asked. Captain Erwin remained quiet and gazed off in front of him.

My eyes felt like they were ready to pop out as I stared at the group through the small window with horror filling my eyes.  
>They had known, all along.<br>I tried to stay calm and walk away but my legs wouldn't moved from where they stood as I  
>kept on staring outside, losing my sanity for a moment as the nauseous feelings returned and were even more intense like ever.<p>

What should I do? What could I do? If I were to run away now they would definitely suspect me more than they already were.  
>What would happen to Mikasa and Armin? I couldn't possibly let them suffer because of me, because of my own problems.<br>But staying here any longer would automatically seal my death, and they would find out.  
>And I don't plan on dying until I know everything about the key that father gave me I thought<br>as I grabbed my key and held it tightly around my hand. I looked around again as I saw all of them staring at their cups  
>now as they all continued to remain silent, at least I thought it was all of them.<p>

His eyes were locked into mine as I saw Levi sitting with his arms crossed as his eyes stared straight at the window  
>as he held this small, mischievous smirk on his face.<br>This was it, I thought. I was caught eavesdropping by one of them. Anxiety drove inside of me as I felt sweat drops  
>gliding from my forehead around my temples as I waited for him to just point towards me, so they would all know I was there, listening to them.<p>

'' I think we should give Eren some slack, we don't know entirely if this is to blame because of his titan features,  
>maybe it could be other psychological or even psychical reasons for him to act or behave the way he has been lately. ''<br>Levi spoke loud and calmly as he grabbed his cup an took a gulp from it. '' Levi could be right, but I was planning on having Eren  
>get properly examined by both me and some special medical doctors. So it will only be a matter of time before we<br>find out the real cause for this. I will find out if his behavior has something to do with him being a internal titan or not. ''  
>Hanji spoke as she passed a glance at both Levi and Erwin.<p>

Captain Erwin nodded as he drank the remains of his cup empty and placed it back on the table  
>with another serious expression on his face. '' Let me make this clear, If Eren were to be suspected to be more titan then he already is,<br>and if it were to be harmful for any of our members at the Recon Corps or to the citizens of Wall Sina... they we all know what we have  
>to do with Eren.. don't we? I find it dreadful saying this about Eren, but our own personal feelings<br>will not be of any importance for this particular matter. '' Erwin spoke as he passed a glance at each person inside the basement.

They all nodded their heads as they all stood up and made ways to leave the basement and head back to the main building.  
>I stood frozen as I stared back at Levi who, for a split second stared at me again as he grabbed his cup but I didn't looked<br>anymore as I forced myself to stand up as I ran away, back to the main building, back to my room as I closed the door  
>and gasped heavily as I leaned against it. After Hanji would perform the examination on me, everything<br>will be clear to them, the nightmare that I have been living on for a very long time would happen.  
>there was no other solution for the problem that was being set into action, I had to run away, I had to make my escape, as soon as possible.<p>

I didn't bother even removing my clothes as I pushed my boots off and crawled under the blankets as I closed  
>my eyes and prayed that sleep would fall in on me soon, pray that my haunted thoughts and<br>nightmares wouldn't prevent me from sleep, not this night. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, trying to daze out  
>anything until I felt someone standing in front of me, I opened my eyes and there he stood, dad suddenly stood next to<br>me as I had to put my hands on my mouth to prevent myself from screaming.

'' Dad?! '' I whispered as I stared perplexed at my father who was staring at me with a serious and stern expression.  
>'' Eren, my boy. Why are you here? '' He asked.<br>'' What do you- ''  
>'' I gave you that key for a reason Eren, You should be going back to the basement in our old home, no matter what it takes. ''<br>Dad spoke to me angrily as his face looked furious.  
>'' Yes, father I wanted to- ''<br>'' No excuses anymore you hear me? ''  
>'' But dad, dad wait! '' I spoke as I tried to stand up and reach out to him.<p>

I saw my father walking away from me but my arm suddenly felt extremely heavy as some sort of gravity  
>was trying to pull me down towards the floor of my room. When I stared underneath me, I saw a titan that was staring at me,<br>and it wasn't just any titan... It was me. I stared at it with horror as the titan-me opened its mouth and waited  
>until I would fall into it, ready to swallow me up and devour me. '' No..No! NOOOO! ''<br>I screamed, when suddenly I felt something hard hitting my face.

'' Eren, wake up! '' I heard Mikasa shout as she shook me up until I woke up with a loud gasp as I inhaled rapidly.  
>Another nightmare I thought as I placed my hand on my forehead.<br>'' Eren... I don't understand. What is going on with you lately. '' I heard Mikasa speak as she sighed and stared  
>at me with a sad expression on her face. I only stared at her as I shivered.<br>I couldn't tell Mikasa, I can't have her worried over me. I won't let her or Armin reach any trouble because of me.  
>I laid with my head back on the pillow as I stared at the ceiling.<p>

'' Breakfast is ready Eren, you should come soon. '' Mikasa said as she was making an attempt to leave the room.  
>'' Alright, I will be- '' I stopped speaking as my eyes caught something strange as my eye brows furrowed.<br>I looked at the small folded paper that was placed on the nightstand near my bed.  
>'' Eren, what are you reading? '' Mikasa asked as she suddenly turned towards me.<br>My eyes slipped through the words, almost captivating me.  
>'' If you wish to know anything more about that key your dad gave you..come and see me. ''<br>My eyes widened from shock as my fingers were slightly shivering. There was no doubt about it.  
>I knew who wrote this small folded paper. It had to be him. Captain Levi.<p> 


End file.
